My head hurts. It has been nagging me like that for the past three days. I had migraine pain issues 7 years ago in Bangladesh. Once I’d arrived in London and sought treatment, the pain subsided to the point of disappearing completely after a while.
Recently they have resurfaced again. But it didn’t take long for me to figure out that this time they are not physical ailments. No, it is because a sense of anger is welling up deep in my heart. My mouth is filling up with of bile and I am desperate to spit it out.
These days I spend my time in amongst people I know, people who are well connected. People who can help set up a meeting between me and Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina’s son Joy. So that upon meeting him face to face, I can finally spit out the bile that has been forming inside my mouth all over him. And then I reconsidered. Why should I focus on petty minions? So then I had a change of heart and decided to switch targets. Now I think Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina herself deserves the full force of my spitting and the bacteria that accompanies it. But then again I know even that won’t bring restitution for me. No, I want to take a knife and carve my chest out and drown her expensive saree in my blood. After that I want shout out and say,
“Honourable Prime Minister! Take a good look! This is the blood from my body. Honorable Minister! If you want more I will provide you with more. My blood is the same as the blood of those in my society. You’ll see find that their blood is red as well. You are the **** ****@#?! of a country, which has common people who spend their days converting their blood and sweat to earn money, you have farmers who let leeches and ticks suck their blood in exchange for growing your crops for a pitiful life, you have rickshaw pullers who leave their starving children untended in order to push their bodies to the limit all day, you represent a country where women sell their souls and their bodies so that they can put food on their tables for a day. You are the *@!?* of this country. You are the destructive virus that has infected this country. You are a traitor. You are a sadistic ruler. You are a dacoit. You are not worthy of forgiveness. You and your other 124 pals take the hard-earned taxpayer’s money and use it to f**k India’s v****a. You funnel the hard earned money of innocent people and take your son his wife, your grandchildren, your sister, nephews and nieces out on holidays. I spit on you. I will always only spit on you.”
The prime minister of a country should always devote himself/herself for the sake of his/her country. They will go underneath, they will go above, and they will traverse the waves and they’ll fly the skies if needs be. A prime minister fully elected ‘by the people’, should be ever ready to work towards the benefit ‘of the people’. So what gave Prime Minister Hasina the licence to use the hard earned tax payer’s money to fund the “fun-filled”, lavish habits of her entire family tree?
I have suffered from consummate depression for the past two days, I’ve spent sleepless nights. Because every time I close my eyes I have flashbacks. Flashbacks of when Sheikh Hasina took her entire family on an “all-expense paid” trip to Saudi Arabia just a couple of years ago. She brought 119, yes a hundred and nineteen suitcases to her trip, not to mention the fact that her two bastard sons tagged along and of course they didn’t have to pay a dime because Hasina managed to royally fuck over all the hard working tax payers in our country. As I understand she had intermittent pain on her knees during that time. Seems like she managed to hurt herself in her attempts to amputate the nation itself! So using the money you father and my father pay, she would take ‘special flights’ to Saudi Arabia for treatment. Saudi Arabia, the nation where thousands of Bangladeshis spend days melting in the sun, to put a few paltry bucks together to send home. A place where pervert Sheikhs torture and oppress our brothers. They are whom Hasina goes to receive her “treatment” from. I haven’t seen her bow down to this Sheikhs or Huzurs as they call themselves. Not yet anyway But I’m quite sure she and her son do bow down in submission to these abhorrent men. Indeed where else will ‘Kulangars’ (one who tarnishes the good name of one’s family) like us will go in a country where the Ka’ba resides!
I tried e-mailing the wife of Sheikh Hasina’s nephew. Fear not, I tried being as calm and collective as possible. Well as much as I could anyway after an almighty tussle with the anger and loathing I felt at the time. All I asked this woman was on what grounds, on what backing or which inexplicable reason or entity gave Ms Pepny Kiviniemi Siddiqui the right to accompany the Prime minister on her tour of India? Is it because she is wife of the nephew of Sheikh Mujib’s daughter? Whereas superstars, movie stars need to pay 10,000 rupees to stay the night in the ITC Mayuri Hotel, what gave her the power to stay there bankrolled by us the people, and on a government tour? And its not just Pepny. Robi, Rehana, Joy, Christine, Azmina, Sufia have all travelled on government funded tours? What gave them the right to stake such a claim? I don’t know if I’ll receive an answer. I am still waiting for one though.
And maybe I will never receive one you know. But my e-mail will definitely find its place in the phishing, spam or trash folder at least. Maybe whoever I have sent these emails to will do the same thing. And to be honest that won’t shock me. However there are some idiots among us who will point out that,
“Find me at least one person out of those 124, who didn’t have a valid reason to travel.”
And some dumb jocks will try and explain it by saying,
“Similar to the upper middle class or higher class society in Bangladesh, these people are blindly opposed to India and the Awami League. Their petulance reached a fever pitch during the last general elections. They thought that the BNP would be victorious this time. As such the agitation of just a few dozen men does not represent the general mind set of the entire population. Instead you can gather what the public actually thinks about it all from things like the scientific survey conducted last week. The Awami League’s approval rating is at 70%+, and that is exactly why right wing and left wing ‘Mullahs’ havn’te managed to lay a dent yet with their various propagandas. The fact that Hasina takes her family out on tours disgust you, but what about Khaleda? She also used to travel to Saudi Arabia frequently for treatment. The airlines she used travel there was far more expensive.”
How can you possibly contend your anger after reading all this? People who write these things have or have had fathers who’ve clearly spent their lives being subservient to power and influence. They must’ve served as slaves to the rick and mighty for the most part of their pathetic lives. So they know how to be slaves and how to conduct slavery due to first-hand experience. The way they have learned to digest injustice from their masters, they have subsequently taught their children to do the same. In this modern age of information technology, it goes without sayin dumb trolls like them would grovel over something like a “70%+ approval rating”, which probably took an entire night to dig up as well. So even if Khaleda and her son travelled a 100 times to Saudi Arabia, when has one wrong deed ever justified another?
Forget it. Who am I supposed to go to? Who am I trying to convince? Sometime I think that what more does a nation deserve, when it has people who vote for the Hazi Selims and Makbuls? This country has been dicated by the rich and powerful and will continue to be so. Commoners like us will only get by if we remain wrapped around their stubby little fingers. We’ll serve them as slaves all our lives, propagate their lands for a pittance, starve ourselves and fill their bellies. We leave our hungry children untended and will never provide enough t our wives. And we’ll let them enter our chambers at night and leave them to do whatever they want with or bodies. En if we hate what they’re doing to us we’ll plop a rueful smile on our faces and will keep saying we want more.
This story of 119 suitcases and of the Brady bunch going on lavish holidays is an information yet unknown to the commoners. Similarly the stories of those 124 men looting public money will always remain a suppressed mystery. There are millions of Abu Talebs like me who are incensed and angry at these injustices. We are waiting to rear our heads and spit on these criminals. But I’m afraid the day will came that we’ll just have to swallow ourbile and move on. We’ll have to learn t accept these unethical and immoral practices.
Only this heart and mind will know how to wither and die several times in one lifetime. Only my heart will know the stabbing pain of defeat.